Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Where is my mind?

I am losing my mind. or rather control of it.
Every day a slew of emotions and ideas run through it. For a while I feel ok about doing what I do and I think I am doing ok but then it shifts to a mild panic where I think that what I am doing is crap and that I am wasting my life. Dreams and Reality are at war, there is no middle ground. It tells me to pack up and move to the islands and start sailing/working one minute and then, in the next, it tells me to get back to the engineering world and get a house and a life. Throw away everything that you don't need to survive and go explore, no wait, go get more things for you will feel happy with them. Yes, No. Do, Dont. Go, Stay. Start, Stop. Fight, Relax.

It is maddening.

Meanwhile it is mid February and I am 27 1/2 years old with little to show for all that time. And time keeps on ticking by.


  1. Keep being creative Darren, the corporate life is no good. I was your age when I fired my network engineering career and haven't looked back. I had a house, a nice set of "things", then it all just blew up. I chose to travel and live in my Westy for a while - it's a good reset button to set the priorities straight.

    I just met a pirate who is fed up with the suburban aspects of Durango and is going to the islands for a while to sail and live inexpensively - I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little jealous.

    - BoxerMick

    1. Hey Mick, If I could afford a boat I'd be down there with that pirate. It is also the reason i keep contemplating going back to engineering, the $$ is hard to turn away from. A few years back in the grind and I could afford to take the sailing classes I need and also get a boat.